One time I ate probably way too many mushrooms and I could feel my trip going bad. So, I turned to my roommate and I said something along the lines of,
“I feel amazing but I feel like this sensation has a price and I’m about to pay it.”
To which he responded, “What are you, catholic?” And that knocked me so firmly out of my mental state that the rest of the trip was hands down the best time I ever did mushrooms.
Yeah that’s fair, those tags should part of the main post
Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.
Parks Official: No sir, you cannot
Parks Official: No. They are a protected species
Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them
Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them
Parks Official: If you like, we can– no, I’m it. I’m the ranking official here. There’s nobody above me. My boss? You mean… the governor’s office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye
After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.
“There’s a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be… legal ramifications. So he called us.”
I laughed. “Does that happen often?”
“Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month.”
Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious
having a uterus SUCKS man bc all day you’ll be feeling the “hey bestie check your pants 😃 check it right now 😃 you might be getting your period 😃 hey bestie i think youre bleeding 😃” and then when you check if you got your period and your body is like WRONG ❌️ its The Slime
